Howdy folks,
I went to my Onc Doc on Tuesday in place of Monday and almost didn't go then either. I was having one of those days for a few days in a row, you know, the kind that keeps you on a high simmer. Things were looking fairly low and seemed as though there was several more lower places yet to go. But, I want to add right here something that I was forgetting at the time. "I have amazingly passed every possible expectation and prognosis of every Doc I have had since this bumpy road started 34 months ago.
I can say that only a week and a half after the radiation and it has helped me to put behind the excruciating pain in my upper left chest and radiated into my left shoulder rendering my left arm just about useless. Funny how when the greater pain is diminished the lesser pains become the greats pain. Kind of like when you detail your bike as you find things that slipped by the first once over and take care of what appears then to jump right out at you, well then the smaller and maybe even things that others might and probably wouldn't even see all of a sudden they appear to be the elephant in the room. Well, I think pain works that way too.
At the Doc shop all my blood was good and the once over was good and he told me maybe the worse thing that could have happened to me was for me to see the growth of the cancer. For me to see it really kicked me in the pants and reminded me that I was only receiving palliative care for comfort measures only and it sunk got through my thick skull that I was not getting the cure and my days for cure treatment are over. Well, I'm on the up swing now and I'm OK with all that has come my way and I'm back to keeping on track with the balance of quantity and quality. And comfort is a big part of this game and that's that on that! My Onc Doc changed some of my meds around and he really had a heart to heart talk with me and my concerns about Sue and her dealing with her MS and the flares that she hides from us that love her.
I changed by updating my bucket list and did my best to make a list that had smaller things along with the bigger and less likely things on the list that had become a stretch even for a healthy guy and wife to pull off even on three wheels. And guess what, I not only can get in and out of bed and my chair since the pain has been lessened, I can get on my trike and today Sue and I rode for the first time in over three weeks. Ya, I know, only 75 miles, but they were great miles and long over due too! We stopped and had a pizza and a big piece of sweat cake to top it off. I'm dropping my trike off for the 2500 mile service on Friday and though that's an all time lowest record of miles for this time in the season, well, every one of those miles belong to me and no one can take them away. I sure do miss the long distance rides of the past but that's OK because as sick as I have been... I've got a pretty good start on the rest of the season yet to come.
I have another appointment with my VA Onc Doc on the 30th with the hope that a ct scan and bone scan will be done the same day. That will put me in good shape to see the radiology/Oncology Doc on the 24th to see where and what the road has in store for me then. Meanwhile, I think I'd like to go for a ride, maybe 1000 miles and not the usual 4 to 10,000 mile rides I've had, but I have the pictures of those rides and I can't remember the last time I even looked at those pictures. lol maybe some cobwebs and dust and a little scrambled up, but I have each and everyone of those miles in my head and with my butt in my saddle. How lucky can a guy get.
So what if I have to take smaller steps, it isn't really the size of the step that's important, it's the direction that your taking the step that really counts. So, hip hip for the right direction, straight on with a flint chin. Thanks again for your positive thoughts, encouraging words and prayers and most important, thanks for your friendship.
Your friend in Sunapee
Sam aka chappy
Author
Topic: I might be down, but I'm not out! (Read 261979 times)