Not a joke posted to the humor section. Just my day at the DMV. Rarely have good experiences there.
In the waiting area, number drawn and about 10 minutes wasted so far. In walks in Little Miss Thing. Looks like she's 35, dressed like she's 18, pink one shouldered lacey ugly top thing, band in hair, pink purse with (not kidding) little dog in it, tiny shorts and white boots. This woman was a bad draw straight out of central casting.
She walks in to the middle of the cattle holding area we're all occupying and asks generally, without bothering to actually look at anyone,
"do I have to go to the counter area first or is there a line?" All drama and just dripping faux anxiety as she basically asked 25 people if she could cut in line. A moderately disturbed looking granny lady pointed to the number dispenser and barked "get your number there Missy."
Herself grabbed her number and made a big show of sitting down and crossing her legs. Little dog shaking the whole time and undoubtedly thinking "just kill the stupid bitch people, please, I'm just a little dog and don't have chit to do with this!"
Five minutes or so later my number gets called and I go to one of the slaughter pens. Didn't see Miss Thing get up at the same time. But she taps me on the shoulder as I get to my appointed station. Asks, "Uh, I really need to go, I just can't be here; in
this place. My friends might see. It's ok if I have your place isn't it?"
That's as close to an exact quote as my bemused memory recovers. I think it's right. It certainly captures her tone. I told her:
"Yeah, sure. Hand job?"
She rather well slathered a bit as she stammered out a, "uh; What?"
Told her again, "Sure, you can have my place for a hand job." I was even all smiley and happy sounding. Could've been that dumass dwarf Happy for how cheery I was acting!
She didn't say anything. Just sulked back to her chair and sat down.
Best thing came a few minutes later just as I was leaving. It had finally become her turn. She was in the wrong line the whole time! Was squatting in the area for license plate renewal and needed a driver's license. So she had to go to the other side of the building and start all over again

.