I was cleaning out some of my old word documents this morning and found a few oldies but goodies...enjoy:
Q: Who are the two most famous baseball players in the Bible?
A: Rebekah: walked to the well with a pitcher.
A: Prodigal son: He made a home run.
Q: Did you know the wise men were firemen?
A: They came to baby Jesus from a-far
Q: Baseball was first game mentioned in the Bible
A: Genesis: In the “big” inning
Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A: David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
A: Honda...because the apostles were all in one Accord
A: Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
Q: What other sports were mentioned in the Bible?
A: Tennis: Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court
Q: Who was the straightest man in the Bible?
A: Joseph: It’s said that Pharaoh made a ruler out of him.
Terri asked her Sunday school class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said.
"But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot.
And one of my favorites:
Everybody Knows Bubba
Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says. "President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time." Off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
Bubba disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. By the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, " Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?
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Topic: Some good, old Bible humor (Read 677 times)