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[KGB]

Holiday weight guidelines

           You just have to love this Chinese Doctor
           O
           Q:  Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true?
           A: Heart  only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't
waste  on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like  saying
you extend life of car by driving faster.   Want to live
longer?  Take nap.

           Q: Should  I reduce my alcohol  intake?
           A:  Oh  no.  Wine made from fruit.  Fruit very good. Brandy
distilled  wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit
so you  get even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made of grain.  Grain good too. Bottom up!

           Q: How can I  calculate my body/fat ratio?
           A: Well, if  you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to
one.  If you have two body, your ratio two to  one.

           Q: What are some of the advantages of  participating in a
regular exercise  program?
           A: Can't think of one,  sorry.  My philosophy: No  pain...good!

           Q:   Aren't fried foods bad for  you?
           A:  YOU NOT  LISTENING!  Food fried in vegetable oil.  How getting more vegetable be  bad?

           Q  :  Will  sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft
around the middle?
           A:  Oh no!   When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.  You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger  stomach.

           Q:  Is chocolate bad  for me?
           A:  You crazy?!?   HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean!  Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food  around!

           Q:  Is swimming good for your  figure?
           A:  If swimming good for  figure, explain whale to me.

           Q:  Is  getting in shape important for my  lifestyle?
           A:  Hey!   'Round' is shape!

           Well... I hope this has cleared  up any misconceptions you may
have had about food and  diets.

           And  remember:
           Life  should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved  body,
but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one  hand -
chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,  totally
worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a  ride!!"




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[muddypaws]

My new doctor...

[chaos901]

With apologies to Hunter S. Thompson.

[iski]

[bigchuck]

Chinese? Not very PC. GOOD FOR YOU!
I hate PC. People are way to sensitive now days.

[Joel]

As a proctologist says to the patient right before the exam,
" It is always best to be on my side of the glove "

[bigchuck]

As a proctologist says to the patient right before the exam,
" It is always best to be on my side of the glove "

Not sure about that. Like my doctor told me "you do it once a year I do it over a thousand time a year." I just saw him a week ago and told him we were either going to skip a year or he was going to have to buy me dinner. I was glad to buy my own dinner.