Once upon a time........
Once upon a time, there was a kingdom. In that kingdom the princess was the most beautiful, but her father the King was obsessed with maintaining her virginity. So he had a device put in her vagina which would lop off anything put inside. He then called his 3 most loyal knights before him.
King: Men, I'm off to visit the neighboring kingdom. Comport yourselves well and ensure that nobody touches the princess including yourselves!
The king then leaves for a week and returns. He calls the 3 knights before him again. He orders the first knight to drop his pants. The knight does so and his penis has been chopped off. The king orders him executed. He then has the second knight drop his pants. The knight does so and his penis has been chopped off. The king orders him executed. He then has third knight drop his pants. His penis is intact.
King: Good knight, you have proven yourself to be loyal and true! Name your reward and it shall be granted!
Third Knight: Eywanmytonbac!