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Author Topic: A snow nightmare  (Read 389 times)

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A snow nightmare
« on: August 06, 2018, 09:42:08 AM »

It had been snowing all night …………..

8:00 am   I made a snowman.

8:10   A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15   So, I made a snow woman.

8:17   My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20   The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22  The transgender ma..wom...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25   The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28   I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31  The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.

8:40   The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.

8:42   The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43  The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45   TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00  I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10   I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.

9:29   Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.

Moral: There is no moral to this story.  It's just the world in which we live today and it is going to get much worse.


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Re: A snow nightmare
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2018, 10:09:45 AM »

Great one and so true..


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Re: A snow nightmare
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2018, 10:21:45 AM »

9:35: Offended far right conservatives want the snow person built carrying a confederate battle flag to promote their southern heritage.
9:45: A conservative congressman points out that the snow is proof of there is no global warming.
9:50: A liberal scientist says the fact that there is snow on August 6 is proof there is global warming.
9:55: A senator notes that the snow is due to lake effect weather coming down through Canada. He proposes a tariff on all imported Canadian snow.
10:00: Local ski resorts claim the tariff on snow hurts their businesses.
10:10: A national leader proposes a bail out for the snow resorts hurting from the Canadian snow tariff, and pays them with money borrowed from Canada.
10:15: A veterans group says the snow person is American, and thus should be carrying an American flag.
10:20: A local police watchdog group notes that the snow person does not have feet showing, and this is interpreted as kneeling to support their cause.
10:30 Threepahse, in a moment of utter frustration plows the snow person down.
"But men are men, the best sometimes forget" Shakespeare, Othello Act 2, Scene 3


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Re: A snow nightmare
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2018, 10:27:37 AM »

Nicely done!


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Re: A snow nightmare
« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2018, 10:45:23 AM »

And charged with vehicular homicide of homeless snow couple that were having to stand in the cold because they had no where else to go


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Re: A snow nightmare
« Reply #5 on: August 06, 2018, 12:04:03 PM »


That's what you get when you put a bunch of snowflakes together.
"If I could only write, I'd write a nasty letter to the mayor, if he could only read."~A Bug (Pogo)


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Re: A snow nightmare
« Reply #6 on: August 06, 2018, 12:50:26 PM »

Not that it ever snows anymore....  But if it did, that's why I'd just stand in the front yard and write my name. 

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