Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

Author Topic: A snow nightmare  (Read 389 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Threephase

  • Junior CVO Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 87
    • TX


    • CVO1: 2017 CVO Streetglide Starfire/Atomic Red
A snow nightmare
« on: August 06, 2018, 09:42:08 AM »

It had been snowing all night …………..

8:00 am   I made a snowman.

8:10   A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15   So, I made a snow woman.

8:17   My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20   The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22  The transgender ma..wom...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25   The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28   I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31  The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.

8:40   The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.

8:42   The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43  The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45   TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00  I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10   I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.

9:29   Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.

Moral: There is no moral to this story.  It's just the world in which we live today and it is going to get much worse.
Logged

muddypaws

  • 2.5K CVO Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4532
  • 2012 FLHTCUS7

    • CVO1: 2005 CVO
    • CVO2: 2009 CVO SEUC
    • CVO3: 2017 CVO LIMITED
    • Re/Max
Re: A snow nightmare
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2018, 10:09:45 AM »

Great one and so true..
Logged
Bill

Ironhorse

  • Vendor
  • 2.5K CVO Member
  • *
  • Online Online
  • Posts: 3475

    • CVO1: 2006 SE Ultra
Re: A snow nightmare
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2018, 10:21:45 AM »

9:35: Offended far right conservatives want the snow person built carrying a confederate battle flag to promote their southern heritage.
9:45: A conservative congressman points out that the snow is proof of there is no global warming.
9:50: A liberal scientist says the fact that there is snow on August 6 is proof there is global warming.
9:55: A senator notes that the snow is due to lake effect weather coming down through Canada. He proposes a tariff on all imported Canadian snow.
10:00: Local ski resorts claim the tariff on snow hurts their businesses.
10:10: A national leader proposes a bail out for the snow resorts hurting from the Canadian snow tariff, and pays them with money borrowed from Canada.
10:15: A veterans group says the snow person is American, and thus should be carrying an American flag.
10:20: A local police watchdog group notes that the snow person does not have feet showing, and this is interpreted as kneeling to support their cause.
10:30 Threepahse, in a moment of utter frustration plows the snow person down.
Logged
"But men are men, the best sometimes forget" Shakespeare, Othello Act 2, Scene 3

Threephase

  • Junior CVO Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 87
    • TX


    • CVO1: 2017 CVO Streetglide Starfire/Atomic Red
Re: A snow nightmare
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2018, 10:27:37 AM »

Nicely done!
Logged

Yellow09SERG

  • 1K CVO Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1577

    • CVO1: FLTRSE3 YELLOW!!
Re: A snow nightmare
« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2018, 10:45:23 AM »

And charged with vehicular homicide of homeless snow couple that were having to stand in the cold because they had no where else to go
Logged

iski

  • 5k CVO Member
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8541
  • EBCM 007
    • FL


    • CVO1: 2007 FLHTCUSE2 Screamin' Eagle Ultra - Light Candy Cherry and Black Ice - Traded
    • CVO2: 2010 FLHTCUSE5 Screamin' Eagle Ultra - Crimson Mist Black/Dark Slate - Traded
    • CVO3: 2017 FLHTKSE CVO Limited - Black Garnet & Electric Red Pearl w/Carbon Dust
Re: A snow nightmare
« Reply #5 on: August 06, 2018, 12:04:03 PM »

 ;D

That's what you get when you put a bunch of snowflakes together.
Logged
"If I could only write, I'd write a nasty letter to the mayor, if he could only read."~A Bug (Pogo)

Twolanerider

  • 25K CVO Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 48278
  • EBCM #1.5 Emeritus DSP # ? Critter Gawker #?
    • MO


    • CVO1: 2000 Triple Red Screamin' Eagle Road Glide
    • CVO2: 2002 Candy Brandywine Screamin' Eagle Road King
    • CVO3: 1999 Arresting Red FXR2
Re: A snow nightmare
« Reply #6 on: August 06, 2018, 12:50:26 PM »

Not that it ever snows anymore....  But if it did, that's why I'd just stand in the front yard and write my name. 
Logged
 

Page created in 0.13 seconds with 24 queries.