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[The Bolvine Gigolo!]

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his
chicken coop.   The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and
says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire."
>
> The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of
these  chickens. Look what it has done to me.  Can't you just let me
> have the two old hens over in the corner?"
>
> The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking
> over."
>
> The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you
> around the farmhouse.   Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over
the entire chicken coop."
>
> The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old
man.
> So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."
>
> The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young
> rooster takes off running after him.   They round the front porch of
the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is only
about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.   The farmer,
meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the
roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young
rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,
>
> "Darn.....third gay rooster I bought this month."
>
> 
>

[Rooster]

  I guess I'm an old Rooster

[thatrhinoguy]

Reminds me of a song by Mike Cross:

Big ol' buzzard sittin' on a fence
Watchin' them chickens play.
He sit with his old friend chicken hawk;
Chicken hawk jump up and say,
"We ought to invite us a chicken home to supper today."

And the buzzard looks at him with a baleful eye,
Take a few seconds 'fore he give a reply;
He turn his neck nearly all away 'round
And he points to the sky and says with a frown,
"The Lord'll provide, the Lord'll provide,
Just be patient, brother and the Lord'll provide.

The chicken hawk said, "But I'm hungry.
My stomach's startin' to rumble like a train."
He spies a fat chicken in the barn yard;
The chicken hawk jump up and scream,
"I hear the lord helps them that helps themselves my friend."

"No, the Lord'll provide, you know the Lord'll provide."
And that's all brother buzzard said, "The Lord'll provide."

Chicken hawk starts to chase the chicken,
Chicken starts squawkin' and run;
The farmer comes out of the farm house;
Farmer got a big shot gun.
The farmer he blows the chicken hawk to Kingdom Come.

And the buzzard looks at him with a baleful eye,
Take a few seconds 'fore he give a reply;
He turn his neck nearly all away 'round
And he looks at the chicken hawk a-layin' on the ground
"I knew the Lord would provide, I knew the Lord would provide."
And that's what brother buzzard said, "The Lord'll provide"

"Yes, the Lord'll provide, children you know the Lord'll provide."
That's what brother buzzard said, "The Lord'll provide."

[Jock]

I must admit, I LOL on this one...