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Author Topic: ATM Machines  (Read 1067 times)

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MJZ

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ATM Machines
« on: June 13, 2007, 09:35:40 AM »

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE



 A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note  that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM  machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without  leaving their vehicles.
 Customers using this new facility are requested to  use the procedures outlined below when accessing  their accounts."


 "After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE  Procedures have been developed. Please follow the  appropriate steps for your gender."


                             MALE PROCEDURE:


 1. Drive up to the cash machine.

 2. Put down your car window.

 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

 6. Put window up.

 7. Drive off.





 **********************************************

                           BLOND FEMALE PROCEDURE:



            (Unfortunately, most of this part is the
Truth!!!!)


 1. Drive up to cash machine.

 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align  car window with the machine.

 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger  seat to locate card.

 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back  and hang up.

 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine  due to its excessive distance from the car.

 8. Insert card.

 9. Re-insert card the right way.

 10. Dig through handbag to find diary; with your PIN  written on the inside back page.

 11. Enter PIN.

 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

 13. Enter amount of cash required.

 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place  cash inside.

 17. Write debit amount in check register and place  receipt in back of checkbook.

 18. Re-check makeup.

 19. Drive forward 2 feet.

 20. Reverse back to cash machine.

 21. Retrieve card.

 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place  card into the slot provided!

 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting  behind you.

 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

 25. Redial person on cell phone.

 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

 27. Release Parking Brake.
« Last Edit: June 14, 2007, 01:18:12 PM by MJZ »
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SE05

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Re: ATM Machines
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2007, 09:36:02 AM »

 :o   NO WAY!!!
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iski

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Re: ATM Machines
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2007, 09:43:33 AM »

 ;D  Way!
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ccr

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Re: ATM Machines
« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2007, 12:05:14 PM »

That's just not that way Nancy and I drive.

So - I repeat here expletive.  No Way! 
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MJZ

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Re: ATM Machines
« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2007, 01:21:19 PM »

That's just not that way Nancy and I drive.

So - I repeat here expletive.  No Way! 

 :oops: Sorry Candy, look again, is that acceptable? ;D ;D
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ccr

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Re: ATM Machines
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2007, 01:24:50 PM »

Much Better.

 :cherry:
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SE05

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Re: ATM Machines
« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2007, 01:39:33 PM »

Much Better.
 :cherry:

Yeah ... for me too!   :2vrolijk_21:
Thank you!!!
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MJZ

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Re: ATM Machines
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2007, 01:47:38 PM »

Now, we are all happy. ;) ;) ;) lol
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iski

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Re: ATM Machines
« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2007, 09:13:18 AM »

Does this mean we have to sing Kum-bah-ya now?
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