Many individuals are searching for a nice firearm for wife, daughter, sister etc.. some wanting 40 S&W and it is all about weight, grip comfort and feel in the hand prior to discharging the weapon, then recoil and nose flip.
The pistol should feel nice in the hand to be comfortable that is why I think a H&K P30 and P30L and Walther PPQ M2 due to their ADJUSTABLE grips and weight are options for women that are often over looked.
Not pushing gun sales here, I have seen too many people purchase a H&K Pistol, not knowing which variant to BUY and PURCHASE the wrong one, then get on the internet and trash the H&K trigger system. Walther has streamlined the selection process, so a novice can't make any mistakes with regards to variants the PPQ M2 has a smooth trigger.
I prefer H&K because it handles the recoil a tad better and the grip has adjustable side panels and back straps.
For me, and only me these are my 2 top picks for the ladies in 40 S&W, actually 9mm would be the same.