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Author Topic: More "you may be a Redneck if"  (Read 989 times)

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GasRat

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More "you may be a Redneck if"
« on: October 31, 2007, 10:37:42 AM »

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the
dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down
depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the
same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls
on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their
rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying,
"Hey, guys, watch this."

7. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling
fan.

8. Your junior prom offered day care.

9. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled
Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
exploded right off its wheels.

11. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth
than your spouse.

12. You have to go outside to get something from the
fridge.

13. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

14.. You need one more hole punched in your card to
get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

15. You think loading the dishwasher means getting
your wife drunk. 
 

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JesterDecor

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Re: More "you may be a Redneck if"
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2007, 10:39:33 AM »

 :P too funny!!

#11 is especially relevant today  :pumpkin: and I'm in Kentucky afterall!!

 :huepfenlol2:
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HogBreath

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Re: More "you may be a Redneck if"
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2007, 11:20:42 AM »

:P too funny!!

#11 is especially relevant today  :pumpkin: and I'm in Kentucky afterall!!

 :huepfenlol2:

HEY!!!! That wasn't right. I still have most some of my teeth.
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JesterDecor

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Re: More "you may be a Redneck if"
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2007, 11:29:31 AM »

SOME???

did you drop your dentures again?? *sighs*

 :huepfenlol2:
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HogBreath

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Re: More "you may be a Redneck if"
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2007, 11:29:52 AM »

A professor at the University of Kentucky is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?"
About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

15 students raise their hands.

"That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

3 students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further..Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes step back,and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture,no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. As he ambles slowly toward the podium, the professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost."

The student replies, "Ghost?!? Shiiiiiit... From way back there I thought you said "goats."
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Re: More "you may be a Redneck if"
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2007, 11:34:00 AM »

A professor at the University of Kentucky is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?"
About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

15 students raise their hands.

"That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

3 students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further..Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes step back,and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture,no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. As he ambles slowly toward the podium, the professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost."

The student replies, "Ghost?!? Shiiiiiit... From way back there I thought you said "goats."


Now that's some funny chit! Probably a true story tho! :ROFLOL:

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Re: More "you may be a Redneck if"
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2007, 09:24:44 PM »

I like #15
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Talon

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Re: More "you may be a Redneck if"
« Reply #7 on: November 01, 2007, 09:20:40 AM »

- If you house has wheels, but you car doesn't.

- If the furniture on your front porch use to be your livingroom furniture.

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