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Author Topic: Think before you speak  (Read 843 times)

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Screamin_Beagle

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Think before you speak
« on: January 09, 2008, 07:11:00 PM »


Think before you speak...

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back...
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and
three kids in tow and asked loudly,
'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow j*b?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went back.
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said ,
'I think I like playing with men's balls.'

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
'right now' she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and
said in a voice just as threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard as
the door closed behind me,
were screams of laughter.


LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This one had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow, but don't get any?
We had a female news anchor who,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard!

Enjoy your day.......


_Beags :cherry:
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iski

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Re: Think before you speak
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2008, 08:21:28 AM »

Good ones.   ;D
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Talon

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Re: Think before you speak
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2008, 08:54:12 AM »

Make sure brain is engaged before moth is in gear! Good one! ;D
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Break-In

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Re: Think before you speak
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2008, 07:36:46 PM »

Funny
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arcticdude

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Re: Think before you speak
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2008, 02:06:24 PM »

Who else recognized those were all WOMEN talking before engaging their brains!!!!







Okay, so maybe that's why I'm divorced?!?!?!??!?!?!













Somehow, I don't think so!
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