> > Redneck Valentine
> >
> > Collards is green,
> > my dog's name is Blue
> > And I'm so lucky to have
> > a sweet thang like you.
> > Yore hair is like corn silk
> > a-flapping in the breeze.
> > Softer than Blue's
> > and without all them fleas.
> >
> > You move like the bass,
> > which excite me in May.
> > You ain't got no scales
> > but I luv you anyway.
> > Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
> > jist a-fry'n in the pan.
> > Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
> > right out of the can.
> >
> > You have some'a yore teeth,
> > for which I am proud;
> > I hold my head high
> > when we're out in a crowd.
> > On special occasions,
> > when you shave under yore arms,
> > Well, I'm in hawg heaven,
> > and awed by yore charms.
> >
> > Still them fellers at work,
> > they all want to know,
> > What I did to deserve
> > such a purdy, young doe.
> > Like a good roll of duct tape,
> > yo're there fer yore man,
> > To patch up life's troubles
> > and fix what you can.
> >
> > Yo're as cute as a junebug
> > a-buzzin' overhead.
> > You ain't mean like those far ants
> > I found in my bed.
> > Cut from the best cloth
> > like a plaid flannel shirt,
> > You spark up my life
> > more than a fresh load of dirt.
> >
> > When you hold me real tight
> > like a padded gunrack,
> > My life is complete;
> > Ain't nuttin' I lack.
> > Yore complexion, it's perfection,
> > like the best vinyl sidin'.
> > Despite all the years,
> > yore age, it keeps hidin'.
> >
> > Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
> > with a RC cold drank,
> > We go together
> > like a skunk goes with stank.
> > Some men,
> > they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
> > They git it at Wal-Mart,
> > it's romantic that way.
> >
> > Some men git roses
> > on that special day
> > From the cooler at Kroger.
> > That's impressive," I say.
> > Some men buy fine diamonds
> > from a flea market booth.
> > "Diamonds are forever,"
> > they explain, suave and couth.
> >
> > But for this man, honey,
> > these won't do.
> > Cause yor'e too special,
> > you sweet thang you.
> > I got you a gift,
> > without taste nor odor,
> > More useful than diamonds...
> >
> > IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!
Author
Topic: Redneck Valentine (Read 914 times)