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[sadunbar]

Started Saturday night. 

I saw my across the street neighbor die of a heart attack on a paremedics gurney in his driveway...  Even worse (I think), is his wife, son, daughter in law and a couple of grandchildren saw it too.  He was a nice old guy...  Had heart trouble for years.  It was gonna happen sooner or later, and he knew it.  I am trying to decide if it was bad that his family saw it happen or if it was good that his family spent his last evening with him.  I haven't decided on that just yet...  But I do know it was very sad for me to see...  I thought he was dead, but wasn't sure until the fire department chaplain pulled into their driveway an hour or so later...

Then Sunday morning, my sister in law who lives in San Jose called to inquire about her 85 year old mother, who lives near Sheila and I.  Her mother fell and broke her hip and just had a hip replacement.  During the call, she told me she was coming home from her sons (my nephew, who lives in Santa Cruz) Saturday evening and got caught in a bad traffic jam on 17.  Turns out it was caused by a motorcycle accident and there was a fatality.  She described a horrible scene.  Then I log into the site later Sunday morning and find out the motorcycle accident that caused the traffic jam involved the death of a friend of a site member.  Also very sad....

Then, this evening, I had time and the weather cooperated enough for me to take only the second ride on my bike since rebuilding the motor and installing the IDS and Traxxion and Sta Bo's and other changes over the winter.  So, I am riding along on a country road with fairly light traffic - happy as can be with how my bike is running and handling.  And I'm thinking about my neighbor who died the other night...    All of a sudden off in the distance in the oncoming traffic, I see a white van doing barrel rolls towards me.  I stopped and it stopped before it got to close to me.  I have no idea what happened but when the dust settled, a car was virtually crushed and the van was on its side half on the road and half into the ditch....  Lots of injured folks...  Help arrived very quickly and the professionals took over the scene.  I don't really want to talk about the few minutes before they arrived.  To tell the truth, it is kind of a blur still - I don't know if there were any fatalities or not, but there were several candidates.  Horrible thing to witness...and very sad...

So I am sitting here kind of numb...

Been a hell of a few days...  Really don't know how to process it all...  But I felt like writing about it to you all...

[SPIDERMAN]

sadunbar
               I've said it before. In addition to a place to chat about my love of all things motorcycle, this site has served me well more than once as a sidewalk shrink. Glad you feel you can come here as well and vent a little. Cyberspace ain't all bad is it dude ?  For some reason the theme song from Chico And The Man just popped into my head. Who remembers the words ?

B B

[NukeIT]

Sandunbar,

I think it is great that you write about it. It is part of the cooping process... when I first started on my first ambulance rig you were assigned an FTO "field training officer" not only was this person there to teach you how to do your job but to how to deal with what you job subjected you to every day..... then after sometime on the job the implemented a policy that would pull EMS staff off the riggs after bad calls to debrief you. if you cant find a release it just builds up in you into something bad.... this goes for everyone, what ever you do find a safe release and do it.... be it a forum, talking to a friend, Chaplin, or my favorite riding my bike in peace with the radio off and open road ahead....but remember don't twist the wick to hard......

[Hugh Janis]

Scott, thank goodness you and your family have been spared all of the tragedy you've been experiencing.  You've got quite a story to tell around a fire some night at a CVO gathering.  The one in the Adirondacks in June is at a lake side lodge with a fire pit on the beach.  We'll see you there for your sidewalk therapy session.  Stay safe.

[Midnight Rider]

Scott...sometimes it's just hard to process all the stuff life throws at us all at once.  But, look at it this way...if you hadn't been thinking about your neighbor and the tragic events that happened in California, you might have been riding just a little bit faster, and arrived at the scene of that horrible van accident just a little bit sooner, and we definitely wouldn't want to be reading about that, buddy.  None of it makes any sense, but it does make us pause and think how fortunate we are to be here and living life the way we choose.

Get yourself up to that cabin you've told me about and your mind will be at peace...

[SBB]

Scott

I'm sorry to hear about all that's been going on. I'm not going to pinpoint and say one was worse than the other.
I have had my share of difficult times and always remember what my dad said to me one day.
"Chip, what don't kill you will make you stronger!"
I try to remember that, even when I'm not feeling so strong.
Scott you are here among friends and I certainly count you as one of mine.
When you can, get back on that fine ride and enjoy your space, you have earned it!

 

[Twolanerider]

Scott, things happen.  Sometimes in bunches.  Sometimes to us and sometimes around us.  But, most often, not at all.  We don't control it.  We can't predict it.  There is almost nothing to be done to try and avoid it.  So whether it drives you nuts or not is all in the perspective you take.

Consider it this way:  Remember the movie "The World According to Garp"?  The Garp character and his young wife at one point are looking at a house.  Their first house.  She's excited.  He seems apprehensive.  Then, whammo, a small fixed wing aircraft falls from the sky and crashed through the side of the house.

Then suddly Garp says "well take it" with a huge smile on his house.  The realtor asks the obvious question.  His answer?  "It's Pre-Disastered!"

So there's been enough crap around you that you're pre-disastered again for awhile.  Spring is here.  Go for a another ride.  If that doesn't do quite enough then go for yet another ride with your trousers unzipped.  The cheap thrill does a guy good.

[Capo]

Scott there is a message in all these things happening around you-I have experienced a similar time in the past and what I took away was there are no guaranties in life! Live everyday like your dying is a country song that for me puts it all in perspective. Don't sweat the small stuff cause we can't see the roulette wheel with our number on it. Take inventory of what's important in life to you! You'll bounce back and when you look in the mirror each day choose to make it an awesome day!

Ride Safe

[erniezap]

I'm just glad that you didn't get tangled up with the van and that it's emotional trauma, not physical, that you are dealing with.    Like the others have said, this is a great place to vent and we are a family here.  We are all here for you.

[VaEagle]

Sorry for all the trauma and death you have been through lately.
Those who have jobs that deal with trauma and death frequently have a true sense of how fragile life is and it can weigh heavy on them unless they learn to put it in prospective and destress in some way.(Hopefully not in a destructive way too.)
In modern times we tend to isolate ourselves from the end stages of life by avoiding old folks and the process of dying.
I think having family nearby in the end stages of life can be helpful to the person as well as the family since it allows them to say things like how much they love the person and the survivors can fully understand that the person will not be suffering anymore.
It also helps the family understand the preciousness of life so they can live fully and appreciate what time they have left themselves. Young folks tend to think of themselves as immortal and they need to learn that they aren't.
I think everyone kinda lives life on autopilot and takes things for granted many times. I also think GOD has a way of giving us a little tap on the shoulder to wake up and put our life and priorities in order. If we fail to notice the little tap then we get a harder hit.
As to why bad things happen to good people especially if they are young I don't have the answers. I treat life a learning lesson that is always continuing.

[sadunbar]

I want to take a minute and say thanks to those who have taken the time to respond to my post of last evening.  I literally had just walked thru the door after having witnessed the van/car crash when I wrote about it. 

I grew up around racing, quite literally from the day I was born.  I saw some devastating things over the years and saw a few friends die along the way.  But it was different.  They knew the risks and loved what they did.  I think the difference between that and the events of the last couple of days was the innocence of the victims.  especially the van/car crash of last evening.  That could have been anyone - simply the wrong place at the wrong time.  It wasn't someone whose time had come like my elderly neighbor.  It was people that weren't going to make it home that evening.  I am sure CigarMike knows exactly what I am saying...

Having had a bit of time to process what I saw happen last evening... I've concluded my perspective of these recent events is what it has always been...

              - life is not a given
              - life is for the living
              - life goes on
              - and live life to the fullest....

thanks again to everyone....

[Hoist!]

I want to take a minute and say thanks to those who have taken the time to respond to my post of last evening.  I literally had just walked thru the door after having witnessed the van/car crash when I wrote about it. 

I grew up around racing, quite literally from the day I was born.  I saw some devastating things over the years and saw a few friends die along the way.  But it was different.  They knew the risks and loved what they did.  I think the difference between that and the events of the last couple of days was the innocence of the victims.  especially the van/car crash of last evening.  That could have been anyone - simply the wrong place at the wrong time.  It wasn't someone whose time had come like my elderly neighbor.  It was people that weren't going to make it home that evening.  I am sure CigarMike knows exactly what I am saying...

Having had a bit of time to process what I saw happen last evening... I've concluded my perspective of these recent events is what it has always been...

              - life is not a given
              - life is for the living
              - life goes on
              - and live life to the fullest....

thanks again to everyone....

I'm sorry you went thru this Scott. But I'm happy to see you putting it all into perspective. I try to live one day at a time. Plan for tomorrow, but live for today! One day we all wake up dead. I'm not up to that yet. But I won't know when I am up to it either. There's no guarantees in life. Live it to the fullest. As long as there are bikes here the same time I am, I know what I'm doing here, and have no desire that it be any deeper than that. "I just wanna be free to ride my machine...!" Live smart and hard, ride smart and hard, always do your best and keep your machines in tip-top shape. After that, it's all in fate's hands brother!

Hoist!

[RJ749]

I started to post last evening and didn't seem to make any sense of it all from my words so I just deleted it.

We had a death here on Sunday only miles from the house as three guys on bikes entered the freeway and just before the merge touched wheels and on shot across the centerline and met up with a fuel tanker.

It just leaves me empty when I think about it.  The guys were 63 and 65 that contacted and the 65 year old lost his life.  Just a Sunday ride on the warmest day of the year.

There are just so many people to remember and pray for it seems.

I got the following from a friend in an email today:

'MEET ME IN THE STAIRWELL'

You say you will never forget where you were when
you heard the news On September 11, 2001.
Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room
with a man who called his wife to say 'Goodbye.' I
held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the
peace to say, 'Honey, I am not going to make it, but it
is OK..I am ready to go.'

I was with his wife when he called as she fed
breakfast to their children. I held her up as she
tried to understand his words and as she realized
he wasn't coming home that night.

I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a
woman cried out to Me for help. 'I have been
knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!' I said.
'Of course I will show you the way home - only
believe in Me now.'

I was at the base of the building with the Priest
ministering to the injured and devastated souls.
I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He
heard my voice and answered.

I was on all four of those planes, in every seat,
with every prayer. I was with the crew as they
were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the
believers there, comforting and assuring them that their
faith has saved them.

I was in Texas , Virginia , California , Michigan , Afghanistan ..
I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news.
Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew
every name - though not all know Me. Some met Me
for the first time on the 86th floor.

Some sought Me with their last breath.
Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the
smoke and flames; 'Come to Me... this way... take
my hand.' Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me.
But, I was there.

I did not place you in the Tower that day. You
may not know why, but I do. However, if you were
there in that explosive moment in time, would you have
reached for Me?

Sept. 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey
for you. But someday your journey will end. And I
will be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may
be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are
'ready to go.'

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.