I thought you'd enjoy some real-life HUMOR! Although, at the time, I didn't find it humorous AT ALL!
In fact, I nearly had a
heart attack!
Yesterday, I spent a good part of the day cleaning and polishing both vehicles. Of course, the majority of time was on the Vrod. There is a dogwood sitting right outside my garage so while they are blooming everything in the near vicinity is covered with pollen. Pretty, but a pain! After I was finished, I had a college class reunion dinner to go to, so I quickly backed it into the garage and left it there. Normally, I pull it waaaaaay over in the corner to keep it out of sight, out of mind! I had already warned the 4-year-old against swinging the dog leash, throwing balls, etc. around it once or twice! Sure, I could have moved it but that'd be too easy, right? And make way too much sense!!! Well actually, the driveway and concrete floor were wet and that makes it a little slick so I thought I'd wait it out (with hopes of riding it first maybe).
This evening after the boys came home, I was in the guest bedroom putting blankets and sheets in the top of closet when my innocent, sweet 4-year-old came in and said, "Mommy! Someone colored your motorcycle!"
I almost fell off the stepladder as I asked, "WHAT?" (Yes, I was yelling!)
He repeated, "Someone colored your motorcycle!"
I said, "You have got to be kidding me!" Ok, it was more like "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKING KIDDING ME! GRAYSON, ARE YOU LYING TO ME?"
He said, "NO! Do you want me to show you?"
By now, all blood has drained from my face, neck, and probably entire upper body! My heart rate must have been a mile a minute because that was all I could hear! Grayson is my tattler! He tattles on every body! He can't wait for Robert to something half-way wrong just so he can run and tell!
I stepped down and said, "YES! You better be kidding me, Grayson, or someone is going to get a beating!"
(Ok, in the South we all call spankings either a whipping or a beating! I would not literally beat my child...but I was thinking that if he colored on my $20k motorcycle I would have to practice some serious Lamaze breathing techniques and counting to 10 a few dozen times before I could handle the situation calmly.)
He quickly said, "I didn't do it!" (That's SOP for both boys when asked "Who did it?" They both respond, "He did!")
I asked, "Where's your brother?"
He said, "He's asleep on the couch."
I'm thinking to myself, "Oh my God! Please tell me this is NOT happening! I threw away every marker and every crayon I could find!"
But it wouldn't be the first time!! While in Maryland, Robert took a Sharpie and wrote his name on the back of his bedroom door.
It was a 6-panel door and each letter filled the blocks:
R - O
B - E
R - T
DCFiremann about had a come apart! Robert told him he was just practicing spelling his name...
So, I walked outside almost in tears. God knows I can't afford to get it painted and I certainly can't afford to order a new set of skins.
I'm whispering a prayer, "Please, God, please NO!"
Grayson is walking real fast and as he gets close to the Vrod, he points and says, "SEE!"
But he never slowed down. He rounded the corner and had started down the steps that lead into the back yard. I didn't see anything noticeable, so I lunge for him
and said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Come show me!"
He' was not sure whether to run or come back. With panic in his eyes, he sheepishly looked at me and said, "Mommy, I didn't do it!"
I said, "Grayson, honey, it's OK. JUST SHOW ME WHERE!" At that moment, I realized it wouldn't be the end of the world because they are just kids!!
We walked over to the other side of the Vrod and he pointed again and said, "Right there! SEE!"
I don't think I have ever been more relieved in all my life!!! On the Vrod it has gold tribal flames with what looks like air-brushed orange streaks through them. I never noticed before that those streaks, oddly enough, look strangely like they were made by a crayon or marker. Grayson really thought someone had colored on my motorcycle and all he knew was he was going to TELL!
Let's just say that tomorrow, the Vrod will go way back over in the corner so it will be out-of-sight, out-of-mind! I don't want him getting any bright ideas! And yes, I've already scoured the house for any more markers and crayons!
Author
Topic: This is not a joke but I thought you guys would find it funny! (Read 1455 times)