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Author Topic: Bullchit & Brillance  (Read 857 times)

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porthole

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Bullchit & Brillance
« on: July 20, 2008, 12:15:51 AM »

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in  Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost.. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading
rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, 'Uh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard!  I wonder if there are any more around here?'

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says,

'Where's that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!

Moral of this story....

Don't mess with old farts .. age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!

Bullchit and brilliance only come with age and experience.


I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more youthfully challenged.
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2005 Cherry SEEG
1982 LowRider * 1974 XLCH * 1972 Adnoh
You can't control the weather, only how you deal with it

Hugh Janis

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Re: Bullchit & Brillance
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2008, 10:08:13 AM »

Come on Duane!  This one is like 10 years old.  Give us a newer one.   :soapbox: :drink:  :pineapple: ;)
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porthole

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Re: Bullchit & Brillance
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2008, 10:33:06 AM »

Come on Duane!  This one is like 10 years old.  Give us a newer one.   :soapbox: :drink:  :pineapple: ;)


Catching up on my post are ya Jimbo?

Even if it is 10 years, (probably much older) the site isn't.

It is kind of a mixed story anyway - "should be baffle 'em with bullchit or dazzle 'em with brilliance"

And the age and experience should always out do the youth and vinegar
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Hugh Janis

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Re: Bullchit & Brillance
« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2008, 10:41:07 AM »

Catching up on my post are ya Jimbo?

Even if it is 10 years, (probably much older) the site isn't.

It is kind of a mixed story anyway - "should be baffle 'em with bullchit or dazzle 'em with brilliance"

And the age and experience should always out do the youth and vinegar

Here's one along the same theme I received in an e-mail today......

The Golfers

 A father, son and grandfather went to the country club for
 their weekly round of golf.

 Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young
 blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.

 She explained that the member who brought her to the club
 for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away, and asked the
 trio whether she could join them.

 Naturally, the guys all agreed.

 Smiling, the blonde thanked them and said, "Look, fellows, I work in a
 topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to
 smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-color
 stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go
 ahead. But I enjoy playing golf, and consider myself pretty good at it, so
 don't try to coach me on how to play my shots."

 With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to hit first.

 All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent
 over to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball
 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.

 The father's mouth was agape. "That was beautiful," he said.

 The blonde put her driver away and said, "I really didn't get into it, and I
 faded it a little." After the three guys hit their drives and their second
 shots, the blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the
 ball within five feet of the pin.

 The son said, "Damn, lady, you played that perfectly."
 The blonde frowned and said, "It was a little weak, but even a soft
 seven would have been too much club. I've left a tricky little putt."

 She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.
 Having the honors, she hit first on the second hole,
 knocked the hell out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300
 yards away, smack in the middle of the fairway.

 For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued
 to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting par
 or less on every hole.

 When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three
 under, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating
 green for a par. She turned to the  three guys and said,
 "I really want to thank you all for not acting like a
 bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how
 to play a shot,  but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really
 like to break 70 on this course...

 ... If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this
 hole,I 'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old
 Single Malt Strathmill Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner,
 and then show him a very good time for the rest of the night."

 The yuppie son jumped at the thought!  He strolled across
 the green, carefully eyeing the line of the putt and finally
 said, "Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit
 it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup."

 The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter
 as a plumb, "Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to
 hit it softly 10 inches to the right and let it run left down
 that little hogback, so it falls into the cup."

 The old gray-haired grandfather walked over to the blonde's ball,
 picked it up, handed it to her and said, "That's a gimme, sweetheart."

 The blonde smiled and said, "Your car or mine?"

 OLD AGE AND WISDOM WILL OVERCOME SKILL EVERY TIME!!!
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"I don't mind coming to work,
But that eight hour wait to go home is a bitch."

Click link for BBQ song..   http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1825742

porthole

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Re: Bullchit & Brillance
« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2008, 10:46:55 AM »

Kind of like the old bull and the young bull ................
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Hugh Janis

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Re: Bullchit & Brillance
« Reply #5 on: July 21, 2008, 10:50:07 AM »

Kind of like the old bull and the young bull ................

Does that go something like,
"I'd like to go down there and kiss one of them them cows"?......
  (insert your own verb)
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"I don't mind coming to work,
But that eight hour wait to go home is a bitch."

Click link for BBQ song..   http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1825742

porthole

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Re: Bullchit & Brillance
« Reply #6 on: July 21, 2008, 12:24:44 PM »

The young bull says to the old bull while overlooking the valley below, "hey why don't we run down there and ................................................"

And the old bull says to the young bull, "why don't we walk down and ................................................................."
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2005 Cherry SEEG
1982 LowRider * 1974 XLCH * 1972 Adnoh
You can't control the weather, only how you deal with it
 

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