I don't know if military type jokes are acceptable here anymore, but here goes.
RETIREMENT BONUS
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an
early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.
The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top
of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and
walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his out-stretched hands to his toes. He *
walked Out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief
who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to
reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received.
But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him
providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,'
which He did.. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the
tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back.
'Dear Lord!,' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?
The old Chief calmly replied,
'Vietnam.'
Thanks to all our Vet's who made it home............and even more to those who couldn't be here now!!!!!
Thank you ALL!!!!!
Beags