The Johnsons were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Johnson kissed his wife
and said, " I'm off; the man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. Good morning madam. I've come to
" Oh, no need to explain. Come in, " Mrs.Johnson cut in.
" Really ? " the photographer asked. "Well, good! My specialty is babies."
" That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."
After a moment, she asked, blushing, " Well, where do we start?"
Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bath-tub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes,
the living room floor is fun too ... you can really spread out!"
Wife - " Bath-tub, couch, bed, living room floor?No wonder it didn't
work for Don and me."
Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every
time. But, if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,
I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
Wife - " My, my, that's a lot of action."
Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time.
I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but, you'd be disappointed with
that, I'm sure."
Wife ( muttering ) - " Don't I know it."
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."
Wife - "Oh my god!!"
Photographer - "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you
consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
Wife - "She was difficult?"
Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the
park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five
deep, pushing to get a good look."
Wife - "Four and five deep?" Her eyes widened in amazement.
Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours,too. The mother was
constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate! Then,
darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Wife ( leaning forward ) - "You mean they actually chewed on your errr
equipment?"
Photographer - "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up
my tri--pod so that we can get to work."
Wife - "Tri-pod?"
Photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tri-pod to rest my Canon on.
It's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? ... Madam ..?"
Author
Topic: Surrogate (Read 1168 times)