I've got two dogs, and I bought a large bag of dog food at the local supermarket, and was waiting line to pay for them.
A woman behind me asked, "Have you got a dog"
On impulse, I told her; no I am starting The Dog Food Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time. I also said that I had lost 25kg, before I woke in intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices an I V's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with dog food and simply eat one or two, every time you feel hungry & the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly the Guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food. I told her oh no, it was because I had been sitting in the middle of the road licking my D--- and a car hit me.
I thought the Guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the shop door.
Stupid woman......... why else would I buy dog food?








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