A father, passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed,
"Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
letter with trembling hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom
and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice -
even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes.
But it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant. Joan said that we
will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her as she is so
much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods, and has a
stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more
children with me, and that's now one of my dreams too..
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be
growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine
and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Joan can get better. She sure deserves it!!
Don't worry, Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself.. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to
know your grandchildren.
Your son, John
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
my report card, which is in my center desk drawer. I love you!
call when it's safe for me to come home.