Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[harleydave]

o   Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
o   Witness: "I only have one, you know."
________________________________________
o   Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
o   Witness: "By death."
o   Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
________________________________________
o   Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
            The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
________________________________________
o   Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
o   Witness: "July 15th."
o   Lawyer: "What year?"
o   Witness: "Every year."
________________________________________
o   Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?"
o   Witness: "There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet."
o   Lawyer: "Can you identify the rifle?"
o   Witness: "Yes. There was something written on the side of it."
o   Lawyer: "And what did the writing say?"
o   Witness: "'Winchester'!"
________________________________________
o   Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
o   Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
________________________________________
o   Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
o   Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
o   Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
o   Witness: "Er...his face."
________________________________________


o   Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
o   Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
o   Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
o   Witness: "My name is Susan."


o   Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
o   Witness: "No."
o   Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
o   Witness: "No."
o   Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
o   Witness: "No."
o   Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
o   Witness: "No."
o   Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
o   Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
o   Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
o   Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."


o   Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
o   Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
________________________________________
o   Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
________________________________________
o   Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
________________________________________
o   Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
________________________________________
o   Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
o   Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
________________________________________

o   Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
o   Witness: "That's me."
o   Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
________________________________________
o   Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
o   Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
o   Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
o   Witness: "Yes."
o   Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
________________________________________
o   Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
o   Witness: "Four times."
________________________________________
o   Lawyer: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"
________________________________________
Lawyer: "Have you lived in this town all your life?"
o   Witness: "Not yet."
________________________________________
o   Lawyer: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."
________________________________________
o   Lawyer: "Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Eddington at the Rose Chapel?"
o   Witness: "It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30pm."
o   Lawyer: "And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?"
________________________________________

o   Lawyer: "Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?"
o   Witness: "No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region."
________________________________________
o   Lawyer: "What is your marital status?"
o   Witness: "Fair."

[CBW]

 

[Chains]