The Stella Awards . . .
Can these be true? It's time again for the annual
'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named
after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and
successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico , where she purchased
coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between
her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned
doing that, right? That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish
lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make
you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy. Here are the
Stellas for the past year, all surprisingly in the US :
* SEVENTH PLACE * Kathleen Robertson of Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury
of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably
surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
Start scratching!
* SIXTH PLACE * Carl Truman, 19, in California won $74,000 plus medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman
apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he
was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps. Scratch some more...•
* FIFTH PLACE * Terrence Dickson, who was leaving a house he had just
burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic
garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to
open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the
garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for
eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag
of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue
mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay
Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.
Keep scratching. There are more... Double hand scratching after this one.. •
*FOURTH PLACE* Jerry Williams, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he
was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by
his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in
its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for
because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of
the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and
repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun. Pick a new spot to scratch,
you're getting a bald spot..
* THIRD PLACE * Amber Carson because a jury ordered a Philadelphia
restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and
broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson
had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What
ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions? Only two
more so ease up on the scratching....
*SECOND PLACE* Kara Walton sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city
because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two
front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies
room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night
club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.
Ok. Here we go!!
* FIRST PLACE * This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was:
Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City , Oklahoma , who purchased new 32-foot
Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game,
having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and
calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make
herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway,
crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago
for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the
driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded
her, are you sitting down? $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago
actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs.
Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.
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