In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point.
The question was where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently, it's Africa.
I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
There's a new Muslim clothing shop just opened in town, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.
You can say lots of bad things about paedophiles but at least they always drive slowly past schools.
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.
"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.
"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?"
He said "Her brother's got a moustache."
Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche & mentioned it on Facebook.
I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!"
Next thing I know 4,000 f....g Muslims have added me as a friend !!
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.”
The FBI have discovered how to weave Muslim prayer mats out of plastic explosives
Apparently prophets are going through the roof !!
The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and ask if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan.
I said we would love to, but our hose pipe only reaches the bottom of the garden.
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Topic: Oh No (Read 611 times)