A paraprosdokian
is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is
surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener
to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for
humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an
anticlimax
Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God
doesn't work that way, So I stole a bike and asked for
forgiveness.
Ø Do not argue with an
idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with
experience.
Ø I
want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and
yelling like the passengers in his car.
Ø Going to
church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you
a car.
Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you,
but it's still on the list.
Ø Light travels faster
than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them
speak.
Ø If I agreed with you
we'd both be wrong.
Ø We
never really grow up, we only learn how to act in
public.
Ø War does not determine who is right -
only who is left.
Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato
is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit
salad.
Ø The early bird might get the worm, but
the second mouse gets the cheese.
Ø Evening news
is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it
isn't.
Ø To steal ideas from one person is
plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.
Ø A bus station is where a bus
stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work
station.
Ø How is it that one careless match can
start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a
campfire?
Ø Some people are like Slinkies ...
not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble
down the stairs.
Ø Dolphins are so smart that
within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge
of the pool and throw them fish.
Ø I thought I wanted a
career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
Ø A
bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need
it.
Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the
part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put
"DOCTOR".
Ø I didn't say it was
your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Ø I
saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.. so I said
"Implants?"
Ø Why does someone believe you when
you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is
wet?
Ø Women will never be equal to men until they
can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they
are sexy.
Ø Why do Americans choose from just two
people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Ø Behind
every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is
usually another woman.
Author
Topic: Paraprosdokian (Read 1295 times)