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[deekay]

Dear Noah,


 

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.


 

Sincerely, Unicorns


 


 


 

Dear Twilight fans,


 

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.


 

Enjoy fantasizing about that.


 

Sincerely, Logic


 


 


 

Dear Icebergs,


 

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.


 

Sincerely, The Titanic


 


 


 

Dear J.K. Rowling,


 

Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?


 

Sincerely, Anonymous


 


 


 

Dear America,


 

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.


 

Sincerely, Canada


 


 


 

Dear Boyfriend,


 

I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.


 

Sincerely, Spiders


 


 


 

Dear Voldemort,


 

So they screwed up your nose too?


 

Sincerely, Michael Jackson


 


 


 

Dear Yahoo,


 

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...


 

Sincerely, Google


 


 


 

Dear girls who have been dumped,


 

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.


 

Sincerely, BP


 


 


 

Dear 2010,


 

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!


 

Sincerely, 1985


 


 


 

Dear Justin Bieber,


 

Ariel would really love her voice back.


 

Sincerely, King Triton


 


 


 

Dear Rose,


 

There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.


 

Sincerely, Jack


 


 


 

Dear Windshield Wipers,


 

Can't touch this.


 

Sincerely, That Little Triangle


 


 


 

Dear Taylor Swift,


 

If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.


 

Sincerely, Shakespeare


 


 


 

Dear Soccer Fans,


 

B B B B B B Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z


 

 Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z!


 

Sincerely, Vuvuzelas


 


 


 

Dear Saturn,


 

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.


 

Sincerely, God


 


 


 

Dear Rubik's Cube,


 

Done!


 

Sincerely, Colorblind


 


 


 

Dear Santa,


 

Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho's.


 

Sincerely, Tiger Woods


 


 


 

Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,


 

I. Can't. Breathe.


 

Sincerely, Your Balls


 


 


 

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,


 

I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream... What now?


 

Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio


 


 


 

Dear Sleeping Beauty,


 

I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and totally save China for my man.


 

All you had to do was wake up.


 

Sincerely, Mulan


 


 


 

Dear Romeo,


 

My death isn't the only thing I've been faking...


 

Sincerely, Juliet


 


 


 

Dear Fox News,


 

So far, no news about foxes.


 

Sincerely, Unimpressed


 


 


 

Dear Sex Educators,


 

Abstinence is only 99.99% effective.


 

Sincerely, The Virgin Mary


 


 


 

Dear Toaster,


 

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?


 

Sincerely, Toast


 


 


 

Dear Edward,


 

I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.


 

Sincerely, a stake


 


 


 


 


 

Dear Prince Charming,


 

You've got some explaining to do!


 

Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty

[hooligan]

 

[AXIL]

 

[Trimster]

 

[postal52]