Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

Author Topic: Brave man jokes  (Read 1125 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Screamin_Beagle

  • 1K CVO Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2048
  • FLHRSEI.ORG
Brave man jokes
« on: April 27, 2011, 03:54:30 PM »

 


 - VERY, VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES --- 

 
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It!
 

 
What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. 
 

 
Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there..
 

 
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it.
 

 
Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care.   
 

 
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already.
 

 
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long.
 

 
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.   
 

 
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of  those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
 

 
Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.   
 

 
If your dog  is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?The dog, of course.  He'll shut up once you let him in.
 

 
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.. It's called a Wedding Cake.
 

 
Why do men die before their wives? They want to. 
Logged
What ever it is that somebody did that you didn't want done.....................I either did it or had something to do with it!!!

Grizzly

  • 2.5K CVO Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3014
    • ON


    • CVO1: '05 Jalapeno 1 of 692 sold
    • CVO2: '08 Duracell #601 of 1,800
Re: Brave man jokes
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2011, 04:35:44 PM »

So that's why you are a "Screamin' Beagle"!

 :huepfenlol2:   :huepfenlol2:   :huepfenlol2:
Logged
ALL 10 Provinces & ALL Lower 48 States ridden on "MY" bike

              NW Territories and Alaska, here I come!

Panhead_Jimmy

  • Elite CVO Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 590
Re: Brave man jokes
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2011, 07:15:26 PM »

My God, Beags, you've not only grown a pair, they must be HUGE.  Does your beautiful wife know you're running amuck?

It was nice knowin' ya.

Panhead Jimmy
« Last Edit: April 27, 2011, 07:27:38 PM by Panhead_Jimmy »
Logged
2004 Hemi Dodge Slammed Ram, Short Bed Std Cab
1945 Knuckle
1956 Pan
2015 FLHTKSE
2017 CVO Street Glide Orange/Starfire Black

WestCoastRuss

  • 1K CVO Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2290
    • CA


    • CVO1: 2010 FLHXSE Tequila Sunrise
    • CVO2: 2014 FXSBSE Sedona Sand
Re: Brave man jokes
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2011, 12:26:52 AM »

If I repeat even one of those I wouldn't be able to sleep with my eyes closed.....ever  :'(
Logged
Tequila makes her clothes fall off....

hooligan

  • 1K CVO Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1220

    • CVO1: 07 FLHRSE3
    • CVO2: 09 XB12X Buell Ulysses
    • CVO3: 05 XL883C
Re: Brave man jokes
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2011, 02:46:56 AM »

 :2vrolijk_21: :2vrolijk_21:
Logged
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

Razor Red
SE Heavy Breather
V & H Slip ons
Power Commander 3 usb
Diamond cut Cylinders and Heads
True Track
Chrome Inner Primary & Tons of Chrome

Devil Dog

  • Junior CVO Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 77
Re: Brave man jokes
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2011, 05:48:50 AM »

Personaly, I think you hit the nail on the head on every one of them.
Logged
Lou
USMC 77-81
"In GOD We Trust"

smkymtnboy

  • 2.5K CVO Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2745
    • TN

    • CVO1: flhxse
    • CVO2: flhtcuse5
    • CVO3: flhtcuse6
Re: Brave man jokes
« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2011, 09:10:32 AM »

no comment! :nixweiss:
Logged

Screamin_Beagle

  • 1K CVO Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2048
  • FLHRSEI.ORG
Re: Brave man jokes
« Reply #7 on: April 28, 2011, 10:34:33 AM »

Jimmy,
    Suzy doesn't come here........so hopefully I'll get away with it!

_Beags
Logged
What ever it is that somebody did that you didn't want done.....................I either did it or had something to do with it!!!

muddypaws

  • 5k CVO Member
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5280
  • 2012 FLHTCUS7

    • CVO1: 2005 CVO
    • CVO2: 2009 CVO SEUC
    • CVO3: 2017 CVO LIMITED
    • Re/Max
Re: Brave man jokes
« Reply #8 on: April 28, 2011, 01:28:02 PM »

All so true...
Logged
Bill

CVOJOE

  • 2.5K CVO Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2884
  • Life's a journey, why not enjoy the ride?
Re: Brave man jokes
« Reply #9 on: April 28, 2011, 02:29:59 PM »

 Why do we know that dog is Man's best friend?  Throw your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car for an hour. When you open the trunk who is happy to see you.

:huepfenjump3:

Matt,
Suzy would do the Bobbett incision on you dude!  :bananarock:
« Last Edit: April 28, 2011, 02:39:35 PM by CVOJOE »
Logged
2003 FLHRSEI2. (Sold) :(

Horsepower is how fast you hit a wall.Torque is how far you will take the wall with you.

Panhead_Jimmy

  • Elite CVO Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 590
Re: Brave man jokes
« Reply #10 on: April 28, 2011, 03:34:31 PM »

Jimmy,
    Suzy doesn't come here........so hopefully I'll get away with it!

_Beags

Is that information called "leverage".

My best to you my friend!
Logged
2004 Hemi Dodge Slammed Ram, Short Bed Std Cab
1945 Knuckle
1956 Pan
2015 FLHTKSE
2017 CVO Street Glide Orange/Starfire Black

Screamin_Beagle

  • 1K CVO Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2048
  • FLHRSEI.ORG
Re: Brave man jokes
« Reply #11 on: April 28, 2011, 08:15:00 PM »

Dunno?
 
I leave for Frisco tomorrow morning (for a couple of weeks, and she just helped me pack).  By the time I get back, the fury should be over. Holy crap I hope so :o


_Beags
Logged
What ever it is that somebody did that you didn't want done.....................I either did it or had something to do with it!!!

deekay

  • Elite CVO Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 903
  • 06 Fatboy SE

    • CVO1: 06 CVO Fatboy Vance and Hines Long Shots SE race tuner SE aircleaner SE pussy pad
Re: Brave man jokes
« Reply #12 on: April 28, 2011, 09:20:56 PM »

 :pepper: :pineapple: :2vrolijk_21:
Logged
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
 

Page created in 0.248 seconds with 20 queries.