Hard shifting and difficulty finding neutral can also be a clutch problem, not just a trans problem. If the clutch is dragging and not releasing completely, that needs to be addressed first. Could be a problem with the hydraulics (many of us went down that road), could be mechanical. If the clutch checks out OK then the trans is the next place to look. A decent tech should be able to come up with a valid diagnosis before four attempts, and it shouldn't be a case of "don't know, we'll just give it back to you and hope you don't darken our door with that complaint again". I do not for the life of me understand these dealerships who agree there is a problem but when they don't know how to fix it they just give the bike back to the customer. If it's NFG and they don't know how to fix it, they should be on the horn to H-D immediately for assistance. THEY should be the ones driving the process to get it fixed.
Better fluids in the primary and the trans can help both clutch and trans operation, but they won't "fix" something that is truly defective. Once H-D and the dealer finally fix the real problem, then look at using specialized lubes in each hole instead of the same stuff in all 3 holes. There are plenty of threads on the site about oils and lubricants.
Jerry