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Golf Instruction

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!"

"Well, what should I do?" asks the man.

"Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."

Taking the advice, he takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball 250 yards straight up the fairway. The man goes back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson.

The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches her swing and says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."

"What can I do?" asks the wife.

"Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's penis."

The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway about 15 feet.

"That was great," the pro says. "Now, take the club out of your mouth and swing the club like you're supposed to!"

[AXIL]

   OOOh damn! thats funny

[Trimster]

 

[2010 FLHX]

Tiger Woods and his wife are sitting on their bed, watching the big-screen TV.

"Hon," she says, "If I died, would you get re-married?" (NEVER ask this question!)

"Well," he says, "I really like being married. I'd miss you, but I suppose sooner or later I'd get re-married."

"And you'd sit on our bed, and watch our TV?"

"I got that TV when I signed with Sony. This bed is from the Serta contract. I like them both, and so yes! I suppose shee and I would sit on our bed and watch our TV."

"And you'd live in this house with her?"

"This is a great house! Gated community, private, and it's paid for!"

"You'd let her drive my Mercedes?"

"That Mercedes is brand-new. Why would I trade it in?"

"And you'd let her use my golf clubs?"

"Well, no . . . She's left-handed."


-- and now you know the rest of the story . . .

[BBNITRO]