Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

Author Topic: How did you die?  (Read 641 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Angry Pirate

  • Junior CVO Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 67
  • Bikes are meant to be ridden!

    • CVO1: 2009 FXSTSSE3
How did you die?
« on: February 10, 2012, 05:55:05 AM »

St Peter was working the door at the Pearly Gates as three men approached.
"Hello.  I must ask you how you died and determine if you may enter."  Said St Peter.
The first man began to tell his story.  "Well sir, I like to work out every morning on the balcony of my 10th floor apartment.  This morning while doing jumping jacks I tripped and fell over the railing but managed to grab onto the balcony below mine.  As I was pulling myself up a man came outside and started hitting me and kicking me and finally stomped on my fingers until I fell the rest of the 9 floors.  Somehow I hit the awning which slowed me down and fell into the bushes which broke my fall.  Lucky I thought, but as I got up I saw a refrigerator falling on me for about a half second.  Then I was here."

St Peter told the man that was a tragic story and he was allowed to enter the gates.

The second man reluctantly told his story.  "Uh.....Well, I was sure that my wife was cheating on me so this morning I left for work at the regular time but waited in the parking garage of my apartment building for an hour and then went back up to catch her in the act.  When I entered the apparent she was standing in the kitchen with a guilty look on her face wearing lingerie.  Infuriated I searched the entire house; the bathroom, under the bed and in the closet.  Nothing.  The balcony I thought!  Sure enough the bastard was hanging from the balcony.  I started hitting and kicking him but he would not let go.  Finally I stomped his fingers and he fell the 9 stories down tot he street.  But the awning and bushes broke his fall and he started moving and getting up.  I ran into the kitchen and pushed the refrigerator to the balcony and over the edge.  It hit him and killed him.  As I calmed down I realized that I had committed murder and would go to prison AND my wife was not going to wait for me obviously.  So having nothing left to live for, I jumped off the balcony and killed myself.

"There is no way you are getting into heaven Sir.  NO WAY!"  Said St Peter.

The third guy walked up to St Peter and said.  "Your never going to believe this Pete.  Imagine your hiding naked in a refrigerator..............." :oops:
Logged
2009 FXSTSSE3
Python Staggered Dual (V&H Baffles)
Power Commander V W/Auto Tune
14" Fat Apes
Danny Gray Saddle

AXIL

  • 2.5K CVO Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2579
Re: How did you die?
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2012, 06:41:44 AM »

 ;D
Logged
I CAME INTO THIS WORLD WITH NOTHING AND I GOT MOST OF IT LEFT  
AHH,MOONSHINE THE OTHER WHITE MEAT

red ben59

  • 1K CVO Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2078
  • ALL GAVE SOME SOME GAVE ALL
    • NC


    • CVO1: 08 FXDSE2
    • CVO2: 09 FLHTCUSE4
    • CVO3: 13 FLHTCUSE8
Re: How did you die?
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2012, 06:46:59 AM »

 :2vrolijk_21: :huepfenlol2:
Logged
 

Page created in 0.24 seconds with 20 queries.