I used to have a Labrador retriever and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart, waiting in the check-out line. The woman behind me saw the 30 pound bag in my cart and asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her no. I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. But, I had lost 75 pounds once before, and felt I needed to shed some 20 pounds I seemed to have gained again. Last time, however, I did awaken in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is you drink at least eight 12oz. glasses of water a day and just load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, as the food is nutritionally complete. So, I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, especially a tall heavy man behind her.
Horrified, she asked the cause of my hospital stay or if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
The tall guy, standing behind the fat guy, nearly had to stagger out of the store, oxygen-depleted from laughter. The lady who had asked me if I had a dog, just stood and glared at me, never smiling, until I paid the bill and left. But I saw a lot of happy people in the line behind me and a lot of smiles. I guess it was a good day!
Author
Topic: Purina Dog Food (Read 642 times)