VERN'S FUNERAL
>
> Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends
> Two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every
> Saturday.
>
> His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard,
> So for his birthday she takes him to a local
> Strip club.
> The doorman at the club greets them and says,
> "Hey, Vern! How ya doin?"
>
> His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to
> This club before.
>
> "Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league ."
>
> When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern
> If he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
> His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable
> And says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
>
> "I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
> I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."
>
> A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her
> Arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all
> Over him and says..
> "Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
>
> Vern's wife, now furious,
> Grabs her purse and
> Storms out of the club.
>
> Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab.
> Before she can slam the door, he jumps in
> Beside her.
>
>
> Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper
> Must have mistaken him for someone else,
> But his wife is having none of it
>
> She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs,
> Calling him every 4 letter word in the book.
>
> The cabby turns around and says,
>
> 'Geez Vern, you picked up a real b*tch this time.'
>
>
> VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD
> THIS COMING FRIDAY
>