OK,
here it is. Marshall was on vacation, but I talked to Tom in service, who also got one of his techs and a parts guy together on the phone with me that were very familiar with the install(really helpful folks!).
They dropped the o2 sensors-that's how they got it to work. He confirmed that the o2's on the breakout would not fit on the Rocker part number, 2-2 exhaust, both from a size and angle perspective. so they did the "bung" install on the exhaust so the ECU would have something to read for the Power Commander tuner they put on the bike....
So I guess the guys at V/H support are correct.....
I think if they had gotten the fitment part for the 2012-2013 Softail instead of the Rocker(which uses the pre-2012 o2 sensors) the o2's would have probably worked, BUT I bet the hangers would not connect in the right place, hence the reason they went with the Rocker fitement and dropped the O2's, perhaps?
A couple of months more for me I guess...so close!