True Friendship
(With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)
Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good,
but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces here - just the stone cold truth of
our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
4. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be, until you quit whining.
5. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
6. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.
I don't want to catch whatever you have.
7. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
Friendship is like peeing in your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.