Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

Author Topic: Men's Rules for Women  (Read 982 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Midnight Rider

  • AKA: TCnBham
  • 10K CVO Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11107
  • FLHRSEI.ORG

    • CVO1: 2011 SERGU Rio Red (sold)
Men's Rules for Women
« on: December 13, 2006, 10:10:43 AM »

>> Now here are the rules from the male side.
>> These are our rules!
>> Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
>>
>> 1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
>>
>> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
>>put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
>>complaining about you leaving it down.
>>
>> 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
>>tides. Let it be.
>>
>> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think
>>of it that way.
>>
>> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>>
>> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
>> Subtle hints do not work!
>> Strong hints do not work!
>> Obvious hints do not work!
>> Just say it!
>>
>> 1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
>>question.
>>
>> 1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.
>>That's what we do.
>> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>>
>> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
>>doctor.
>>
>> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>>In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>>
>> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
>>Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>>
>> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
>>
>> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of
>>the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>>
>> 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want
>>it done. Not both.
>> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>>
>> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
>>commercials.
>>
>> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do
>>we.
>>
>> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>>Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a
>>fruit. We
>>have no idea what mauve is.
>>
>> 1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
>>
>> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act
>>like nothing's wrong.
>> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>>
>> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an
>>answer you don't want to hear.
>>
>> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
>>fine...Really.
>>
>> 1. You have enough clothes.
>>
>> 1. You have too many shoes.
>>
>> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>>
>> 1. Thank you for reading this.
>>
>>
>>
>> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>>
>> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping
Logged
Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of fuel before you can think straight.
I had the right to remain silent, just not the ability...

Gone, but not forgotten...2011 FLTRUSE with
Fullsac X Pipe w/2" Baffles
Legend Air Ride Rear Shocks
Traxxion Dynamics AK-20 Front Suspension
Clearview GT13 Windshield
TTS Mastertune

cigarmike

  • Guest
Re: Men's Rules for Women
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2006, 11:18:12 AM »

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>>Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. [highlight]Pumpkin[/highlight] is also a  
>>fruit.

I hope d00d realizes this.
Logged

RJ749

  • SEEG Cult Newbie
  • 10K CVO Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10539

    • CVO1: 2006 FLHTCUSE
    • CVO2: 2005 FLHTCSE
    • CVO3: 2002 FXDWG3
Re: Men's Rules for Women
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2006, 11:20:47 AM »

Quote
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>>Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. [highlight]Pumpkin[/highlight] is also a
Logged

Fired00d

  • Global Moderator
  • 25K CVO Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 32683
  • Orange & Black SEEG... Can it get any better?
    • VA


    • CVO1: FLHTCSE
Re: Men's Rules for Women
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2006, 11:22:53 AM »

Quote
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>>Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. [highlight]Pumpkin[/highlight] is also a  
>>fruit.

I hope d00d realizes this.
Where the heck is the man rule about selective seeing?? [smiley=nixweiss.gif] I know there has to be one; it's right near/next to selective hearing rule. [smiley=huepfenlol2.gif]

 [smiley=pumpkin.gif]
Ride Safe,
Fired00d
 [smiley=fireman.gif]
Logged
:pumpkin: 2004 Screamin’ Eagle Electra Glide :pumpkin:
Rinehart True Duals
SE Breather
SE Race Tuner
HogTunes Speakers
Zippers 575 Gear Drive Cams
Zippers Pro-Tapered Adjustable Push Rods
Zippers Oil Pressure Bypass Shim
Feuling Oil Pump
Feuling Lifters
Zumo 550 W/Flame Caps
Lyndall Z+ Brake Pads
CVOHarley Member #1234
PGR Member #754 (Since '05)
Proud Member EBCM #2.0

Hoist!

  • Monster
  • 10K CVO Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 21634
  • This chit ain't ROCKET SCIENCE!!!!

    • CVO1: '07C FLHRSE3, BLACK ICE OF COURSE, CUSTOM 110" TC 6-SPEED +++, "CYBIL"!!!
    • CVO2: '99 FXR3 BRIGHT & DARK CANDY BLUE W/FLAMES, STAGE II 80" EVO 5-SPEED +++, "JOY"!!!
    • CVO3: 4: & 5: '85 FXWG BLACK w/CUSTOM FLAMES, 110" EVO 6-SPEED +++ CVO style!!!; '08 NSMC PROSG CUSTOM FXR BASED PRO STREET BLACK, 89" EVO 5-SPEED, VERY FAST!!!; '09 NSMC HSTBBR CUSTOM RIGID HOISTBOBBER, SILVER METALFLAKE BATES SOLO SEAT & TIN w/BLACK WISHBONE FRAME, 80" EVO (w/Shovelhead bottom end) 4-SPEED! VERY COOL!!!
Re: Men's Rules for Women
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2006, 12:12:59 PM »

Terry, I couldn't have said it better myself! All the things I've been thinking over the years on this subject, in one neat little list. I'm copying it to the OL as we speak! Thanks ;)
Logged
"We wanna be free to ride our machines without being hassled by The Man!"

Traxxion Dynamics Suspension Rules! "It ain't braggin' if you can back it up!"

"Cause I'm sitting on top of the world!" (zoom in on satellite map in my Profile)

Hoist!

  • Monster
  • 10K CVO Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 21634
  • This chit ain't ROCKET SCIENCE!!!!

    • CVO1: '07C FLHRSE3, BLACK ICE OF COURSE, CUSTOM 110" TC 6-SPEED +++, "CYBIL"!!!
    • CVO2: '99 FXR3 BRIGHT & DARK CANDY BLUE W/FLAMES, STAGE II 80" EVO 5-SPEED +++, "JOY"!!!
    • CVO3: 4: & 5: '85 FXWG BLACK w/CUSTOM FLAMES, 110" EVO 6-SPEED +++ CVO style!!!; '08 NSMC PROSG CUSTOM FXR BASED PRO STREET BLACK, 89" EVO 5-SPEED, VERY FAST!!!; '09 NSMC HSTBBR CUSTOM RIGID HOISTBOBBER, SILVER METALFLAKE BATES SOLO SEAT & TIN w/BLACK WISHBONE FRAME, 80" EVO (w/Shovelhead bottom end) 4-SPEED! VERY COOL!!!
Re: Wife's Response to Men's Rules for Women
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2006, 03:08:48 PM »

Quote
Terry, I couldn't have said it better myself! All the things I've been thinking over the years on this subject, in one neat little list. I'm copying it to the OL as we speak! Thanks ;)
Logged
"We wanna be free to ride our machines without being hassled by The Man!"

Traxxion Dynamics Suspension Rules! "It ain't braggin' if you can back it up!"

"Cause I'm sitting on top of the world!" (zoom in on satellite map in my Profile)

harleydiva

  • Guest
Re: Men's Rules for Women
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2006, 08:57:32 AM »

Quote
>> Now here are the rules from the male side.
>> These are our rules!
>> Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
>>
>> 1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
>>
>> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
>>put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
>>complaining about you leaving it down.
>>
>> 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
>>tides. Let it be.
>>
>> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think
>>of it that way.
>>
>> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>>
>> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
>> Subtle hints do not work!
>> Strong hints do not work!
>> Obvious hints do not work!
>> Just say it!
>>
>> 1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
>>question.
>>
>> 1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.
>>That's what we do.
>> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>>
>> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
>>doctor.
>>
>> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>>In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>>
>> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
>>Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>>
>> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
>>
>> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of
>>the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>>
>> 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want
>>it done. Not both.
>> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>>
>> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
>>commercials.
>>
>> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do
>>we.
>>
>> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>>Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a
>>fruit. We
>>have no idea what mauve is.
>>
>> 1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
>>
>> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act
>>like nothing's wrong.
>> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>>
>> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an
>>answer you don't want to hear.
>>
>> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
>>fine...Really.
>>
>> 1. You have enough clothes.
>>
>> 1. You have too many shoes.
>>
>> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>>
>> 1. Thank you for reading this.
>>
>>
>>
>> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>>
>> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping


 :-X
 ;D
 :-*
Logged

CVOJOE

  • 2.5K CVO Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2884
  • Life's a journey, why not enjoy the ride?
Re: Men's Rules for Women
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2006, 03:02:00 PM »

Now that makes sense to me  [smiley=2thumbsup.gif] [smiley=bananarock.gif]
Logged
2003 FLHRSEI2. (Sold) :(

Horsepower is how fast you hit a wall.Torque is how far you will take the wall with you.
 

Page created in 0.227 seconds with 20 queries.