Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex marriage, and values.
Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"
Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my
intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got
it from your mother, cause I still have mine"
Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court
Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very
fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to
send her a few bucks myself,"
A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like
the looks of your wife at all," "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But
she's a great cook and really good with the kids.
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you
will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take
to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?" The agent replies, "Just a
minute..." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other
detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I don't know.
But it sure made a hole in Juan.
This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing
the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of
him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?" The young
woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start by buying me a
drink."
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of
bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had
even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the horn by
mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation He said, "I did
that by accident." She replied, "I know that, Grandpa." He replied, "How
did you know?" She said, "Because you didn't say "asshole" afterwards".
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Topic: A different perspective on life (Read 510 times)