Welcome to the forum, emcclary. We're glad to have you here.
I am so sorry to hear about the injuries that you and your wife suffered in this incident. I wish you both a full recovery. Hang in there. Healing takes time. I suffered some pretty good injuries in a serious crash 12 years ago. Recovery was tedious and frustrating. It was made all the more so by not being able to ride and participate in many activies the way I had before my crash. Today, I'm fully recovered and riding again. You will be, too. As others have said, seek out the best medical practitioners you can find and then follow their advice religiously.
As for the circumstances that led to the crash, I wish you much luck in determining the cause. I certainly understand your hesitation to climb back aboard the bagger until you know full well that the problem has been corrected.
Again, welcome to the forum. You are in our thoughts and our prayers.