HarleyRider2004,
I got your PM and have read the entire thread.
Firstly, the dealer is a retard. As the others suggested, the 'fill cover cap' can be easily removed with the right sized hex. If your exhaust pipe is in the way, try one with a balled end, or 3/8 socket. Suggesting you have to remove the cover would really make me question that dealer, unless you heard them wrong. Are you sure they weren't talking about the primary?
Anyway, I have actually removed mine and swapped to the Trans Speed-Check Dipstick, which is much easier to deal with. I've attached a pic, but cannot find the correct PN for the SED with the hydraulic clutch right off the bat. If the dealer can't help, let me know and I'll try to sort it out for you.
Regarding the rest, here's a quick run down...
I run the following:
20w50 Mobil 1 in the crank. I buy 4 qts, fill with 3 and adjust up from there.
10w40 Mobil 1 4T in the Primary approx 22 oz.
70W90 Mobil 1 Gear Lube in the Tranny approx 28 oz.
The drain plug for the oil is on the right side frame. The trans is in between the rear shocks. And the primary is on the outer (or inner) cover toward the rear. Make sure you replace the O-Rings every time. I also use a very little bit of plumbers dope on the threads for added seal and to ensure the threads don't seize.
From there, you need a filter - I run the Definitive 5 system, so I use the factory push on, the 3 O-rings, and the primary cover gasket. You might also want to hit the plugs at the same time. I go through this whole routine every fall before I store it.
If you have anymore questions, shoot me a PM.