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Author Topic: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet  (Read 1100 times)

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Twolanerider

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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #30 on: March 17, 2020, 10:22:24 AM »

BTW, still digging the bigger cam in the internet service.  The previous upload speed was terrible.  Now the posts show up even before I type them. 
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iski

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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #31 on: March 17, 2020, 10:54:57 AM »

Lucky you.

In these bug infested swampy hinterlands we are still using kite string and tin cans as the delivery system for our internet.  Our local county, in it's infinite wisdom limited cable internet to only one provider back in 1824. It was a very large bribe that secured the contract and it gave them 200 years 100% exclusive rights to all high speed internet.  The county officials got paid off big time & citizens do not dare complain because of the Dungeon Clause.  The cable company used a hodge podge of old twine, baling wire, & electrical connectors that Ben Franklin had left over in his garage.  I think the brains for the entire system is a rewired accordion & a cowbell. Other internet provider companies (not the Favored One) were forced to use the telephone lines that Alexander Graham Bell personally installed in 1885 using a pair of wire cutters & a mule named Old Pokey.  We got rid of the hand crank phones a couple of years ago & Stella our operator does a great job connecting our calls unless she is napping.

Last year the county awarded an additional cable internet contract to some newfangled outfit that says they will be using high fiber metamucil brand cables.  Not sure what the bribe for that contract was, am guessing at least twice what the old bribe was.  chit gonna flow fast on those suckers we have been told. We expect that sometime in 2087 our neighborhood will receive this new service.

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Twolanerider

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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #32 on: March 17, 2020, 12:26:34 PM »

Lucky you.

In these bug infested swampy hinterlands we are still using kite string and tin cans as the delivery system for our internet.  Our local county, in it's infinite wisdom limited cable internet to only one provider back in 1824. It was a very large bribe that secured the contract and it gave them 200 years 100% exclusive rights to all high speed internet.  The county officials got paid off big time & citizens do not dare complain because of the Dungeon Clause.  The cable company used a hodge podge of old twine, baling wire, & electrical connectors that Ben Franklin had left over in his garage.  I think the brains for the entire system is a rewired accordion & a cowbell. Other internet provider companies (not the Favored One) were forced to use the telephone lines that Alexander Graham Bell personally installed in 1885 using a pair of wire cutters & a mule named Old Pokey.  We got rid of the hand crank phones a couple of years ago & Stella our operator does a great job connecting our calls unless she is napping.

Last year the county awarded an additional cable internet contract to some newfangled outfit that says they will be using high fiber metamucil brand cables.  Not sure what the bribe for that contract was, am guessing at least twice what the old bribe was.  chit gonna flow fast on those suckers we have been told. We expect that sometime in 2087 our neighborhood will receive this new service.

Couldn't help it. 


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iski

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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #33 on: March 17, 2020, 12:43:32 PM »

Couldn't help it. 




Thank you, my day is now much brighter!  :2vrolijk_21:

In all that sea of garverbage you picked out the one word that mattered.   ;D
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Phreakyz

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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #34 on: March 17, 2020, 01:38:39 PM »

Couldn't help it. 

One of the greatest Skits of all time!!! ;D
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Threephase

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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #35 on: March 17, 2020, 05:17:58 PM »

So with all the "social distancing" we are supposed to adhere to, how the heck am I supposed to get a haircut? I cannot wait until July or August as they say we may have to wait. It is already touching my ears! My dad would dis-own me if he saw me!
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load97

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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #36 on: March 17, 2020, 10:03:50 PM »

Seriously? Do like the rest of us half bald guys. Grabs the trimmer and buzz it down yourself. Tell ya, third world problems I tell ya...
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iski

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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #37 on: March 17, 2020, 10:06:36 PM »

This thread needs more cowbell.

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Twolanerider

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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #38 on: March 17, 2020, 11:25:41 PM »

All threads need more cowbell.  Just sayin'.
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VaEagle

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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #39 on: March 18, 2020, 12:46:50 AM »

So with all the "social distancing" we are supposed to adhere to, how the heck am I supposed to get a haircut? I cannot wait until July or August as they say we may have to wait. It is already touching my ears! My dad would dis-own me if he saw me!

You could try this.....

https://www.flowbee.com/
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iski

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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #40 on: March 18, 2020, 12:47:51 AM »

What if the artist was trying to paint a brown dog with big ears and people just thought it was some guy screaming?
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rayson56

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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #41 on: March 18, 2020, 11:54:41 AM »

Be Advised
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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #42 on: March 18, 2020, 01:35:25 PM »

So with all the "social distancing" we are supposed to adhere to, how the heck am I supposed to get a haircut? I cannot wait until July or August as they say we may have to wait. It is already touching my ears! My dad would dis-own me if he saw me!

Have you ever watched NCIS on TV?  If so, just take the same approach used by Gibbs.  Put a bowl on your head, then buzz off everything the bowl doesn't cover.  I believe they used to call that style "white sidewalls". :nixweiss:  I bought a small battery operated trimmer some time back for a different reason (removing body hair before going for medical testing or procedures), and I'm considering trying to trim what's left on my head with it.  If there is a God, he has a very cruel sense of humor.  As I got older the hair on my head got thinner and thinner, but the hair on the rest of my body started growing like a weed.

Jerry
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Yellow09SERG

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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #43 on: March 18, 2020, 09:24:18 PM »

I work in a toilet paper plant and we know the real reason for the shortage....

When there is a group of people assembled all it takes is a sneeze or a cough and the 20 people standing around chits all over theirselves trying to get away
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iski

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Re: Preparing for Coronavirus 19 -- Beer and Upgraded Internet
« Reply #44 on: March 18, 2020, 09:46:50 PM »

Locals reacting to Official Announcements:




Locals after listening to news reports about the latest announcements:

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