Reading this thread just reminded me why I enjoy this site so much! It's not just a forum or a chat room! It's a place where strangers have connected because they have one thing in common and became friends!! I have made more friends on this site than I ever imagined. I have met more people from this site face-to-face than I thought possible and have very real and tangible friendships with people from "the cvo site!"
Gettinold, I read this thread not too long before my first official "road trip" from NC to MD. I remember tears running down my face when I read some of the posts. I remember reading about Special_Ed losing his dad around the same time (and no one knew) and I felt the pain in his post. I remember seeing pics of grown men with their parents and grandparents and thinking how odd because this was a "biker" site! (Kind of like when Matt aka Shirtman said he never imagined a request for a PINK shirt on this site!) I actually began weeping when I reread the "AND IF YOUR PARENTS ARE STILL WITH YOU,JUST CALL THEM AND TELL THEM TOU LOVE THEM, BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN GOD CAN CALL THEM HOME." I felt a sense of urgency like someone was tapping on my head saying, "Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Hello...are you listening?" Unfortunately, I'm plagued with stubborness!
DCFiremann (aka Mike aka Dawg) and I had discussed this thread on a couple of occassions and the comments on here and the "lack of a relationship" I had with my mom. I have tons of respect for Mike because he once risked his life by snapping at me when I said something negative about my mother and told me, "I don't care! That's YOUR MOTHER! You wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for HER! Don't ever say something like that around me again!" Ironically, I was with Mike on that road trip in WV - stopped on the side of the road taking pictures - when my phone rang and in 30 seconds my life changed. I found out my mom needed a heart transplant and wouldn't survive long without one. All I could think about was what if she dies before I tell her I love her! A few hours later, we hit a deer. I remember panicking as I slid into the ditch because I was afraid I would not be able to make amends with her before she died if I was seriously injured (or died) and knew I had to get out of that ditch so I could call her! Then I saw Mike rolling over-and-over and then coming to a stop and not moving, and I had the same thought! I thought, "Oh God, not NOW please!" I was afraid to look at him for fear that he wouldn't move again! I was so relieved to hear him groan because I was not prepared to deal with the thoughts or feelings I had at that exact moment! (It took a LONG time for that to happen, didn't it, Dawg?) As soon as my feet hit the pavement, I was calling my dad to see if I could talk to my mom. The entire time I rode with Mike's brother to take him and the bike home, I just wanted to come home! After posting about the accident, I read this thread more than a few times! I drove 3 hours with full-leg brace and aircast on my ankle to see my mom the next day to make sure I didn't lose the chance to make things right!! And if you remember, she was so excited about me owning my own bike and taking a roadtrip on a Harley AND TELLING EVERY POOR NURSE THAT WOULD LISTEN that she completely forgot about being sick and I forgot about all the years we barely spoke! That's when I decided I needed to buy my parents a bagger so they could take at least one road trip before she goes home to meet the Lord! (BTW, they are both scheduled to take the MSF next weekend on their anniversary!)
This site has taught me a LOT (and obviously not just about CVO's and Harley-Davidson)! I owe you and all the guys on this site a thank you! I have always been strong-willed and very independent. And as I told our "site chaplain" once, I am not a girlie-girl and not very feminine-minded! I never allowed myself to be weak or show emotion because I didn't like "having girly moments" and it took a bunch of men discussing their love for their parents and grandparents to make me realize that showing emotion was NOT a weakness!
And, on top of that, Dave, if I had not forwarded a PM from JR to the one friend from this site who knew the most about my mom and all the feelings this thread had invoked, there might not have been a "window of opportunity" opened to discuss other feelings and we'd still be "just friends!"
So, you should NEVER apologize for discussing your thoughts or feelings on this site!! Even when you don't know it, someone somewhere needs to read it, hear it, or say it!!
Thank you!
V