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Author Topic: Do we all have this wife "issue"?  (Read 9196 times)

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Midnight Rider

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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #15 on: February 04, 2013, 11:42:23 AM »

Guess you just told us who wears the pants in your family??

I guess that depends on what kind of marriage or relationship you have or want.  Telling any woman I've ever had a relationship with that "I wear the pants" would go over about as well as a Turd in a Punch Bowl.  Not many women I know are that submissive, and personally I don't want one who is because it then would not be a partnership, but a dictatorship.  I respect my wife too much to do something like that to her, even if I thought I could get away with it.  But that's just me...

My wive(s) over the years (I've had 3, but not all at the same time) and I just have a simple agreement that everyone chips in for the expenses proportionately; major purchases are discussed before they are made; I don't have to get "permission" to buy odds and ends or trinkets, regardless of whether they are bike related or just something I can't live without at the time, and neither does my wife.  If I'm going to spend what would be considered a "significant" amount of money on something, I feel that it's the right thing to do if I discuss it with her, and the same for her.  That way there are no surprises in the mail that either of us are going to get pissed off about.  It all works out and I've never been with anyone where spending reasonably is an issue for either of us.
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blacktop

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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #16 on: February 04, 2013, 01:23:49 PM »

If I'm going to spend money on something large I "float" the idea first. (i.e. I think I'll get a new bike this year). If it goes over like a lead balloon then I've got some work to do to convince the better half. If there is no major push-back then I usually go and explore the idea more and at the same time talk to her about it. I get her involved in say the color or model etc. By the time I actually make the deal it's no surprise and she's more supportive.
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ultrarider123

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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #17 on: February 04, 2013, 02:11:51 PM »

I guess that depends on what kind of marriage or relationship you have or want.  Telling any woman I've ever had a relationship with that "I wear the pants" would go over about as well as a Turd in a Punch Bowl.  Not many women I know are that submissive, and personally I don't want one who is because it then would not be a partnership, but a dictatorship.  I respect my wife too much to do something like that to her, even if I thought I could get away with it.  .

X2, brother

We (as men) always want to quote Ephesians 5:22, 23 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church".  However, for some reason we (men) have a tendancy to leave out the follow-up for us husbands as vs. 25 states "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for it".  Put all of that together and it makes for a wonderful, fulfilling bond between husband and wife.  It's not a dictatorship, it's mutual admiration for each other as much as Christ loved the church.  It's a marriage where both are happy and fulfilled.  I'm in my third and last marriage.  I was selfish in those first two but with the Lord's help, I can be the man my wife wants/needs/respects and yearns to be with.  I am nothing without my Lord and my lovely wife.  THAT'S how I'm to wear my pants......
« Last Edit: February 04, 2013, 02:18:32 PM by Ultrarider1 »
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longlast

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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #18 on: February 04, 2013, 02:53:14 PM »


   You said it ..Howard, communication, respect, treat on to those as those would treat on to you.
   Seems pepole for get on just how short life really is. In saying that, My wife's closet and mine are balanced
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hdaliaconis

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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #19 on: February 04, 2013, 03:06:49 PM »

My original question was posted because I see so many comments about getting MC related purchases "past the wife."  I agree, best to gain support and respect her position rather that try to pull it off underhanded.  If she is on board with you it all goes smother.  Who cares who "wears the pants" as long as there is peace all around. 
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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #20 on: February 04, 2013, 03:12:28 PM »

Mine spends a bit on her own bike....and way more on clothes and shoes than I do on my bike. I bring up that she has also taken over the spare room closet and the laundry room closet and the hall closets...then she backs right off!


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dayne66

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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #21 on: February 04, 2013, 03:16:08 PM »

A happy wife......means a happy life!
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longlast

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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #22 on: February 04, 2013, 05:24:14 PM »

A happy wife......means a happy life!

                     To-shay on that :2vrolijk_21:
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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #23 on: February 04, 2013, 05:37:20 PM »

If I ever posted a picture of my wifes closet on the internet  :'( I would never hear the end of it!
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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #24 on: February 04, 2013, 05:44:56 PM »

If I ever posted a picture of my wifes closet on the internet  :'( I would never hear the end of it!
Around here, her closet is common knowledge.
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SanJuanRon

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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #25 on: February 04, 2013, 07:30:05 PM »

We have an agreement, I spend $$ on bikes & mods, she spends $$ on clothes.  It works for both of us!  SJ Ron
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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #26 on: February 04, 2013, 07:40:39 PM »

I guess that depends on what kind of marriage or relationship you have or want.  Telling any woman I've ever had a relationship with that "I wear the pants" would go over about as well as a Turd in a Punch Bowl.  Not many women I know are that submissive, and personally I don't want one who is because it then would not be a partnership, but a dictatorship.  I respect my wife too much to do something like that to her, even if I thought I could get away with it.  But that's just me...

My wive(s) over the years (I've had 3, but not all at the same time) and I just have a simple agreement that everyone chips in for the expenses proportionately; major purchases are discussed before they are made; I don't have to get "permission" to buy odds and ends or trinkets, regardless of whether they are bike related or just something I can't live without at the time, and neither does my wife.  If I'm going to spend what would be considered a "significant" amount of money on something, I feel that it's the right thing to do if I discuss it with her, and the same for her.  That way there are no surprises in the mail that either of us are going to get pissed off about.  It all works out and I've never been with anyone where spending reasonably is an issue for either of us.

You are absolutely dead on with the first paragraph, and I agree with you 100%, and I NEVER said anything about how "I" wear the pants in the family, and I would never tell my wife that I do. What I did say, was that Ultrarider1 just told us who was "wearing" the pants in his family, and as he replied ----- his wife does in fact tell him what to wear (style, color and design), and I guess it does not bother him to do as she says, and that is certainly fine if that is his choice. Hopefully he does not let her do that because he is afraid of her, as that would be an abusive relationship.  My wife and I have mutual respect for each other and after 30 years of being together, we pretty much know where the "line" should be drawn. BUTTTT, since I moved out of my parents home in 1969, I no longer need to ask mom or dad (or anyone else) if I can spend money on my CVO, which was the original question of this post I do believe??? I am on my third CVO and I have never asked my wife for permission to purchase any of them or ANY accessories that I have bought to put on them. On the other hand when my wife decided to trade in her 2004 V-Rod for that shiney new 2006 Fatboy CVO, she in turn did not ask for my permission, but she did call me at work to have me stop by Sun Harley here in Denver to look at the bike she just put a deposit on. We are both adults, and make approximately the same amount of income each year, and just because we have a marriage license does not mean either of us has to "ask permission" to buy anything. We are both adults and know what our checking account can withstand. My wife works in a mostly dominate man's world selling trucks for a large dealership, and she comes home all of the time laughing about the "wiennies" she works with that have to ask wifey for any thing they want to spend money on and get permission to go ride with their buddies. She thinks it is as pathetic as I do. Any big purchase that either of us makes is usually agreed upon before hand and we have talked it over. But trust me, if I want a new bike, chrome for that bike, a new seat for that bike, or anything else for my CVO, truck, gun safe, etc  ---- I will buy it. PERIOD. I will not ask for permission to purchase ANYTHING for that CVO in my garage, as hdaliaconis asked about.   I just bought a new Kimber Chrimson Ultra Carry, and the wife never knew I purchased it until I was loading it and putting it in my new Comp-tac holster. Also it is not just men that wear the pants in the family as was noted by Ultrarider1. Apparently it is not always the woman that is submissive, In his case as he wrote, it is the man. Can't we all just get along?
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ultrarider123

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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #27 on: February 05, 2013, 08:38:33 AM »

Also it is not just men that wear the pants in the family as was noted by Ultrarider1. Apparently it is not always the woman that is submissive, In his case as he wrote, it is the man. Can't we all just get along?

I thought we were getting along, just having a good, healthy discussion amongst ourselves... :2vrolijk_21:
As for the original post question, I don't consider discussing purchases with my wife an issue, it's a choice and a great way (for us) to operate.  It's obvious that 2harleys and his spouse have a different way to work these type issues out and it works for them.  Doesn't make either way the best/worst or determine who wears the pants in a relationship.  Have a blessed day today... :)
« Last Edit: February 05, 2013, 09:34:48 AM by Ultrarider1 »
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Rio

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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #28 on: February 05, 2013, 09:19:59 AM »

Kids are kings at my house.  Wife does'nt like to ride, I have to push her to go out when my friends go with their wives.  Not a bad thing, I bought her a helmut and a headset and she drove me nuts!  Turn the music down so we can talk...that was the last time she rode with me!  She spends our money on the kids, I'm left alone to do what i want with my bike & riding.  Good relationship, it works.  3 kids in college, were broke anyway!
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Re: Do we all have this wife "issue"?
« Reply #29 on: February 05, 2013, 12:12:38 PM »

I thought we were getting along, just having a good, healthy discussion amongst ourselves... :2vrolijk_21:
As for the original post question, I don't consider discussing purchases with my wife an issue, it's a choice and a great way (for us) to operate.  It's obvious that 2harleys and his spouse have a different way to work these type issues out and it works for them.  Doesn't make either way the best/worst or determine who wears the pants in a relationship.  Have a blessed day today... :)

That was just tongue in cheek humor. Not talking about us, but specifically husband and wife.
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